Tuesday, August 01, 2006

My mom sent me this, and I found it hilarious.

If you've seen it and it's 'old' to you, then just ignore. :)

"I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina
at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that
no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because
I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me."

Looks like there's a small grant I can take the lead on - so I'll be diving (with help) into the writing-small-grants pool. I've also got to clean a bunch of stuff up at work - it makes you really tired, but it's fun. It's one of those NP-complete problems, or for you non-math folks, it's a packing problem. I'm sorting and packing things into many many small bins. That's why you're drained at the end of a day of packing when you're moving.

I also feel like a person. Not too much work, just enough, and I'm slowly stopping tutoring since it's zapping the life from me. (I have to arrange my weekly schedule around an hour meeting, and when that meeting doesn't pay more than the rest of the work, that's a pain in the arse.) I really love working with the kids - but my family needs more of a mommy. I'm also happy, somewhat well-balanced mentally, and sociable - which is a far cry from how I've felt lately. I could get one of the three at a time but no more...

My dad, stepmother, and brother are visiting this weekend - we haven't seen them since my brother's bar mitzvah last year... should be a fun time!


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