Wednesday, September 28, 2005

So I'm trying not to get one...

...of these horrible stress headaches I've been picking up some days. They start about 2pm as a tightness in my temples then expand (if I'm not careful) into a horrible, can't-do-anything-but-sleep situation. Even if I do take medicine and calm/slow down, my temples still stay tight for the rest of the evening. I've never had headaches of this scope and nastiness before, especially not on a semi-regular basis. Sheesh, people. Sheesh.

So I'm taking a night 'off' from studying, although my test is tomorrow night. I'm best served at this point, I believe, by taking a night to get a lot of sleep, take a nice relaxing bath, and calm down a bit in between graduate-school-tasks. I had a presentation on Serial analysis of Gene Expression that I started working on on saturday and finished sunday night. It went well, though, I think. The Task at hand (mind you it's a Task in the way that things are Animals and not animals) is a Cell Biology test of the most highest impor-tancee. Sure, I could get a grade in with the rest of 'em, but that wouldn't be very Hermione. So, not only am I writing each essay's answer out by hand as practice (and there are 11 of them), but I'm answering each objective as it's an essay too. That's in addition to memorizing pathways and reading the first 4 chapters in two Cell Bio books. I figure if I do all that and don't get an A, it wasn't meant to be. I just want to make a high A on this test so I don't have to worry as much on the rest - to make them average out nicely if I get a low A sometime. I've just got to get to the point where I feel like I'm prepared for whatever they want to throw at me... and since I can't just go on powdered doughnuts and coffee like some people, I have to take a break on occasion. I know I'll feel better and more able to study most of the day tomorrow and still have a brain left to take the test with.

I was thinking again today about Natha and how ADHD he really is. Sucks that we can't do much officially about it yet for a few important reasons, but he really is. It's one of those things you just for some reason didn't think of as an explanation for a group of weird behaviors then all of a sudden it's plain as day and you sort of feel like a fool for not seeing it in the first place.

*long, sort of dramatic story to follow*

Ed and I saw a little boy at the Goodwill store this past saturday. He was about 3 or so, looked *exactly* like Natha, and only spoke spanish. The kid had lost his mommy and was absolutely terrified while he was trying to look for her. Mind you, the store's not *that* big that the mom couldn't find him, but when you're 3 and scared, it's a huge store to be lost in. I was looking at the dresses when I heard the little boy wandering around saying 'Mama'. So, I started following him so I could catch up and try to help him. Kid saw me and started walking a bit faster (I know, smart kid, since you've got a blue-haired, weird looking white lady tailing you) until I got close enough to ask him if he wanted me to help him find his mommy. He took my hand and we walked up to the front of the store, scared as he was. The clerk asked him what his name was, and he was too frightened to give it - so she announced in a semi-uninterested tone that there was 'a little hispanic boy wearing a spiderman shirt looking for his mommy'. A hispanic lady unrelated to the boy asked him in spanish what his name was and he just said 'Mama' because he was so terrified. So, I crouched down and tried to make him feel better until she came up there. It took her a couple of minutes for his mother to appear - and at that, she wasn't even in a rush. She was in the back of the store the whole time, and I had found the kid wandering in the front - so they'd been separated for a while.

He was so happy to see her, and she was ok to have him back - by no means greatly relieved, either, to be hugging him. After a minute or so he wouldn't let go of her neck, and she was trying to get him to walk by himself again.

I wanted to take him home with me. I wanted to tell him that I would take care of him and not let him get lost in a big scary store ever again. That it was going to be ok now and that he should pay more attention next time to make sure he didn't get too far away.

This happened last saturday, and I'm still upset about it - to the point of crying, sometimes. Kids love their parents (especially at that age) more than you could ever imagine, and most parents are constantly annoyed at their kid's presence. The parents don't pay attention to what it's like to be a little kid - and respect that it's tough for them sometimes too. Doesn't mean you don't ever discipline them or that you let them run amok, but there are times to just listen to what they're scared of or are worried about and make them feel better, without repercussions or unnecessary rushing. Parents wonder why their teenagers don't talk to them - it's because you sent them the message with your thoughtless 'Uh-huh's and 'That's nice's that their feelings aren't at all important and people shouldn't be bothered by sharing them. So they turn to other things instead of giving you a clue. Sure, you're always going to be the uncool parents of a teenager, but that doesn't mean that if you continue to care just enough that they'll still automatically kick you out of the loop. You have to start when they're 3, though, by making sure they don't get lost in big scary stores - and if they do, making them feel loved, then talking to them about it and how to keep it from happening again.

When we left the store we saw them in their car. I'm glad I didn't look at their license plate number or I'd be tracking down a little kid and convincing her to let me have him. I can imagine it now - "You know, we live in a nice house, have an older brother for him, and Ed is spanish. He'd get everything he needed and then some." I know she wouldn't let me have him, but I still feel like I should ask, just in case.

I keep thinking of his scared little face and thinking about how I want to take him home with me. All a kid really wants are two parents that love, care for, listen to, and are interested in him. Sure, they'll ask for gumballs and Power Rangers toys when you ask them what they want, but see how much happier they really are when they have a someone truly paying attention to them as a little person.

I *really* wanted to smuggle him out of the Goodwill and take him home with me, laws be darned.


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